How to Shower

I had to share this from an email my sister forwarded to me. Thks Amber



How To Shower Like a Woman:

Take off clothing and place it in sectioned laundry hamper according to lights and darks.

Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown. If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental note to do more sit-ups/leg -lifts, etc.

Get in the shower. Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide loofah and pumice stone.

Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43 added vitamins.

Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.

Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner enhanced with real passion fruit.

Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10 minutes until red.

Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake body wash.

Rinse conditioner off hair.

Shave armpits and legs.

Turn off shower.

Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.

Spray mold spots with Tilex.

Get out of shower and stand on bath mat.

Dry with towel the size of a small country.

Wrap hair in super absorbent towel. Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on head.

If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed areas.

How To Shower Like a Man:

Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and leave them in a pile.

Walk naked to the bathroom.

If you see wife along the way, shake wiener at her making the woo-woo' sound.

Look at your manly physique in the mirror.

Admire the size of your wiener and scratch your ass.

Get in the shower Wash your face. Wash your armpits..

Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them off..

Fart and laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.

Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding area.


Wash your butt, leaving those coarse butt hairs stuck on the soap.

Wash your hair. Make a Shampoo Mohawk.. Pee.

Rinse off and get out of shower. Avoid bath mat.

Dry off forearms and butt only.

Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging out of tub the whole time.

Admire wiener size in mirror again. Shake it to watch water fly off.

Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan on.

Return to bedroom with towel around waist..

If you pass wife, pull off towel, shake wiener at her and make the woo-woo' sound again.

Throw wet towel on bed.


If there is anyone among you who did not laugh at the truth behind this, there is something so very wrong with you..

Have a great day! And, 'woo woo'!!!

Hey check out this purse I made for one of my son's friends birthday. She is a big fan of Perry the Platypus?????


This morning I had a reaction to my new med for diabetes. My bloodsugar went lower than it ever did before. I had the shakes, I was clammy but cold...it was very scary. My doc said that it was my body getting used to the lower bloodsugar and the numbers were where I needed to be... I hope it works out for the best because the label states that I should avoid prolonged periods in the sun....huh? if you know me you know that I love to be in the sun. So now I cannot have cinnamon buns and sun? That friggin sucks! Oh and I shouldn't drink cuz it can make the bloodsugar go too low. Did I say this friggin sucks? Now what will I indulge in? celery? And of course I was nagged about not exercising enough. Oh happy joy joy. Well to make lemonade (sugarfree) from these lemons....if the med brings my numbers down maybe I can have a cinnamon bun every once in awhile. We will see.